Being a lone wolf is hard. It’s glamourized so much in films. The lone hero comes into town, saves the day and whisks the fair maiden off into the sunset. So many times I think I have to solve problems by myself. Like it’s my responsibility to somehow have all of the answers for the challenges and the obstacles I face in my daily life. Then I get frustrated and revert deeper in to my shell, hoping no one will notice I tried and failed.
But what has taken me the better part of five years to figure out is that I don’t have to go it alone. I don’t have to have all of the answers. I don’t have to solve every problem that comes across my path.
For the last 10 years I’ve been a part of a worship band. We became a true family and would not just play together, but also had a weekly bible study night and hung out every weekend. It was a really close-knit group, and I relished being a part of it. And as all things in life, things changed. They changed for the better, but they changed, nonetheless.
And soon my little tribe moved on, and I was left standing there wondering where I fit in. One moved away to pursue her dreams. Several got married, had children, and have focused, rightly so, on raising their children. And it took me awhile to realize that I couldn’t go it alone. I needed a tribe; I needed a community to balance out my introverted self.
So last Spring, when I heard about a retreat for young adults in the Florida Keys, I decided to go.
After researching the location, a Boy Scout camp, I was a little worried about how much we’d have to rough it. (Little did I know there would be a shower house with pull chain and all, but that’s another blog post entirely!)
By the end of the retreat, I had so much fun! I’d met so many amazing people that I wondered what on earth had been keeping me from doing this sooner?
Then I realized. It was me.
It was my fear of trying new things, of meeting new people, of trusting that God was truly guiding my path.
So what did I do?
I continued to resist His leading for a while, thinking my own plans were better. Then He reminded me again that maybe this really was my tribe after all. (More on that next week!)
“The mind of a man plans his ways, but the LORD directs his steps.” Psalm 16:9
Photo Credit: Ayank, Creative Commons